The Weekly Review – This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things Edition

1. Toddler’d. Step one to parenting a toddler: admit that you are not in control. A and I lined everything up perfectly for the Avon walk. Childcare. Hotels. Transportation. Fundraising. Then at 7:30 Friday night, after we’d been in the city all of 3 hours, we got a call that Z was sick. We ended up walking today, but we had to sit yesterday out. So we’ll be doing this again next year, with the goal of walking both days!

2. Faerie(tale) hair.

3. Shut up and listen. The seating for the concert I went to last week was at shared tables, and I was at a table with a group of four couples who’d come together. They seemed ok at first, but when the show started it became pretty obvious that they were there to get hammered and talk to each other. And that made me angry. Because I’d spent a pretty penny for a seat closer to the stage, where I could really see and feel and taste the music, and they were one giant distraction. I thought about going home after Matt Nathanson’s set (it was a double header with Philip Phillips) but moved to the back of the venue instead. Where, even though I wasn’t so much into the music, I had a great time because the vibe was way more chill. Plus I got to do the meet and greet and get a big giant Matt Nathanson hug (highly recommended). On the whole it was a good evening, and a lesson in maintaining calm in the face of jerkitude.

4. Seeking concert buddies. Do you need more music in your life? Do you feel like you never go out because it’s to darn hard to find a sitter? Hit me up. We can do a kid swap date night or a girls only date night or any combo thereof.

5. The older I get, the more I appreciate spending time with family. Cliche but true. Having my brother out here last weekend was delightful, and Z, even not feeling well, is happy as can be that her Papa is here this weekend. I saw my grandparents and my aunt a few months ago It was the first time I’d spent time with them solo as an adult, and it was a fun visit.

The Weekly Review – City with an Attitude Problem Edition

NYC

1. Do something that scares you. I dyed my hair purple this afternoon, for the Avon walk and my friend Dawn. Ever since A started doing his beard again, it’s been like an itch I couldn’t scratch – dyed hair does not go over well at a law firm. Which means that if I dye it, I have to cut it. And that’s what scares me.  Long hair, fairy tale hair, has always been a part of my identity. Even when I’ve cut it short from time to time – and I’ve never gone pixie cut short, which is probably what it will take to look “professional” again” – it’s always been on the understanding that short was a temporary measure.  So I’ve held off on doing something I really wanted to do. Well, fuck cancer, and to hell with fear. I’m doing something that scares me.

2. You haven’t lived until you’ve played mini golf with a two and a half year old. My brother came to see us for the weekend, and we took Z mini golfing for the first time. It was a riot. She rolled the balls, granny bowling style. She walked them down the green and gently dropped them into the cup.She picked up our balls, sometimes returning them to us, sometimes bringing them to a “better” spot. And a few times, she even hit the ball with the putter.

3. Invincible with my headphones on. I fell in love with Matt Nathanson’s music way back in ’04, but I’ve rarely been able to see him play live. A and I got tickets and a babysitter for the show tomorrow, but then the babysitter had to cancel. So if anyone’s interested, I still have an open ticket for dinner and the show. And if all else fails, I will totally rock going to see him play by myself. Because Matt Nathanson.

4. I might be addicted to New York. I’m not sure how or when or why, but the city has slipped under my skin and settled in to stay. Most of my trips back east lately have been to the D.C. office (because, reasons), but this last one was NYC. It hit me on the walk from the hotel to the office – the frantic, throbbing energy, the pulse of subway and bus and taxi, tourists jostling mothers jostling suits. All the time we lived in the city, I felt like it was pushing me away, telling me I didn’t belong. Maybe it’s the distance. Maybe it’s because I am finally home. But I can finally see that while the city might have been saying “leave,” what it meant was “stay.”

5. Love each other. It’s been a rough week, and I don’t think it’s going to let up any time soon. Hug your loves, reach out to someone you haven’t spoken to in awhile, and above all, be gentle with each other. We are all of us fragile things.

The Weekly Review – Sexism at the Farmer’s Market Edition

1. Avon 39 update. You guys ROCK! A and I have both hit our fundraising goals for the Avon 39 walk, thanks to the generosity of our friends and families. There’s still time to donate, if you are so inclined, and every dollar we raise helps fund medical care for low income women, treatment for patients, and research to stop breast cancer. Our team page is here, but you’ll need to go to either my page or Adam’s to donate (no more team donations this close to the walk).

2. Farmer’s Market fundraising. A and I signed up to do a fundraising table at the Benicia Farmer’s Market for the month leading up to the Avon Walk. I did the first week, two weeks ago, and had a really incredible time. About ten women came up to me during the afternoon to tell me that they were survivors or were currently undergoing treatment. We chatted for a bit, about why I was walking (to support a very dear friend), and about how different treatment is now, and about the importance of love and prayer and hope. Many of them wrote their names on our support board. I also had two older men come up to me, one of whom lost his mother in the 1950’s, when he was sixteen.  He told me there wasn’t anything they could do for her but cut away the disease and give her morphine for the pain. I think perhaps he had not thought about her for a long time. His hand shook as he wrote her name and he pinned it to the “memory” section, but he thanked me as he walked away.

Know the FactsRibbon JarsThe Support Board

A took the first shift at this week’s market, and his experience could not have been more different. For two and a half hours, nobody was willing to make eye contact with him, let alone talk to him – not even a woman with a chemo port.

It was a stark reminder that sexism works both ways. That we are just as harsh, if not harsher, to the man who steps out of his gender role. That we have a long, long way to go.

3. The gift that keeps on giving. The Mabacle is mostly in pieces in the Silence of the Lambs room downstairs, although the body is still on the street. A’s selling off anything not absolutely necessary to making the car go – seats, a/c system, door trim, headlights – with the goal of making her into a little race car.  So far, I think he’s found about $8 in change under the seats and floor mats alone, and gotten another $300 or so from parting it out on Craigslist. If it pays for its own roll cage and the other safety equipment, we might have to stop calling it the Mabacle.

4. Happily ever after.  My cousin S got married last weekend, up in Hood River, Oregon. It was breathtakingly gorgeous, the kind of scenery that I would almost-but-not-quite move away from the Bay for. I always forget just how many cousins there are on my mom’s side, and, as always with these kinds of things, I met a few new cousins I haven’t seen before but would like to get to know better.  The highlight of the weekend (aside from Z’s first trip down the aisle as a flower girl) was my cousin J’s toast to her sister. As much as I love my brother’s, I still wish a little bit that I’d had a big sister as bold and brave and mischievous as my cousins!

5. On writing with family. Back in January, I told myself that writing is writing is writing, and it didn’t matter if I blogged or noveled or short storied, with the thought that words would beget more words. In one sense this is true. The more I write, the easier and more quickly the words come when I sit down. In another sense, this is a lie. I have a finite space for writing – between 6 and 7 am most days. It is the only time that I have when I am not “on duty” as a mom or an employee or a wife – and even that space is intruded into when there are early morning phone calls or when Z refuses to stay in bed. So if you’re reading and enjoying these, let me know by leaving a comment or a share or a like.

The Monday Review – Oklahoma! Edition

1. Sunday brunch, anyone?  There’s something really nice about getting together with the framily at the end of the week. You know what I mean – those impromptu get togethers where the kids are, by some miracle, playing nicely together, and we always say, as we’re cleaning up, that we should do it more often.  Well, let’s. Every week is too much – once or twice a month?  Host cooks the main dish, everyone else brings sides. We’ll coordinate who does what via text or email a week or so before. Call or email me if you want in. (Inspiration, in part, from Brown Eyed Baker’s Sunday dinners.)

96 ZMZM2. The Mabacle is dead; long live the ZoomZoom.  I wouldn’t go so far as to say we’ve replaced the Mabacle, but we did buy another ’96 Miata.  This one is speeding-ticket red, and comes with a real roll-bar, non-functional brakes, and a ton of spare parts. Oh, and the license plate says 96 ZMZM. What more could you ask for in a car?

3. Signs that you’ve stayed too long at the Karaoke bar:  the Japanimation keeps coming up because you’ve run out of songs; everyone is holding their beer because the table is filled with empties; the song choices are getting progressively harder to sing because you’ve already gone through everything by The Killers and Journey.

4. We’re renting our place in Brooklyn. Our long time renters moved out and into their gut-renovated house, so the upstairs apartment is open.  Here’s the listing if you or anyone you know needs a place.  Two bed/one bath, in BedStuy on the A train.

5. My uncle passed away this week. It’s another reminder of how short life is, and how important it is to spend time with the people you love. I’m in Dallas next week for work, and I’m going to swing up to Oklahoma on my way home, to spend some time with my grandparents and my aunt. Right now, it’s just me, but A and I are keeping our eyes on airfare – if anything crazy good opens up last minute, he and Z will come too.

Closing Tabs

This song makes me tear up every time I hear it.

According to the NY Daily News, Richard Simmons, the fitness guru, has basically been locked in his house for two years.  If I get rich and famous, I expect you all to break me out long before we hit the two year mark.

We’ve tried to amend the Constitution 11,000 times.  Only 27 of those have stuck.  Anyone else think president by lottery is starting to sound like a good idea?

Filed under “WFT Artificial Date Line”: a total solar eclipse began Thursday the 9th and ended Wednesday the 8th.

The Monday Review – Live from New York Edition

1. A and I are now the proud owners of a bedroom set. In the almost nine years we’ve been together, we’ve had night boxes, night speakers, night crates, and, once, a night fishtank, but never night stands. All that changed last Monday, and let me tell you, it is a life altering experience.Z explores the new furniture2. WTF X-Files? On a scale of 1-Dexter, the last episode in the mini series was about a 7, but that’s only because I refuse to believe it was unintentionally that bad. Memorable quote “He’s too sick for the vaccine! He needs STEM CELLS.” Will Sculley save Mulder? Will Fox commission more episodes? Did Einstein survive? By the time the closing credits rolled, I was laughing too hard to care.

3. Do you have a toddler? Are you watching Masha and the Bear? No? You’re welcome.

4. Bronwyn is kicking my ass. Revisions are always much slower for me than the zero draft, but this is bordering on the ridiculous. It’s why you don’t see much in the way of novel updates from me… Chapter 6, days 7-15: still struggling through the squirrel killing scene.

5. Things I miss about New York: the subway, good pizza, and hole-in-the-wall restaurants.  The wine bar I’m writing this in hits two of the three: it’s a blink-and-you-miss-it set of stairs that I’ve walked by dozens of times, and they serve a proper thin-crust, crushed tomato sauce pizza. There’s also a Christmas story leg lamp behind the bar and a random stained glass mural of an owl and a raven in a tree.  You just can’t get this in Vallejo.

Closing Tabs

I’ve always wanted to live in a house with a conservatory.  As that’s not likely to happen any time soon, I’ll settle for an indoor fruit tree or four.

I totally got tripped up by this guy when I was working restaurants, and it amazes me that, despite the fact that she’s writing about the STEM fields and I was a cocktail waitress, the MO was almost identical – down to the inappropriate use of “shiny.”

On a much lighter note, I came across this list of places to hike with a toddler in the East Bay and I can’t wait to go out with A and Z.

Unfortunately, said hikes are probably going to have to wait a month or so, as it appears that the reprieve from the rain is over with a vengeance.