Free & Fine

On By BekkiIn Musings & Ramblings1 Comment

I’ve more or less gotten to the point where time zone shifts don’t bother me.  Another week, another city. I tell myself where and when I am and hold to it. Flying to the East Coast and back every few weeks isn’t crazy; it’s what I do.

It didn’t occur to me until after the fact that I might have hit my limit last week.

***

I planned to go to New York the week of the 10th for some much needed face time with my team. Passover was on Monday, though, which meant I’d fly in Tuesday and leave Saturday. Easy.

The day after I bought my ticket, plans changed – I had to be in Dallas on Wednesday the 12th for an all day meeting.  Less easy, but manageable. I changed flights around, flying into Dallas Tuesday and New York Wednesday evening.

Friday of that week, plans changed again – I now had to be in DC for a meeting on Wednesday the 19th. Any other weekend I’d have stayed on the East Coast. Easter and Christmas are the two holidays that firmly belong to my psuedo-sister, though, and while she’d have forgiven me if I missed it, I wouldn’t have. So I changed my Saturday evening flight home to a morning flight (to maximize Z time over the weekend) and booked an in-Tuesday out-Wednesday trip to D.C.

Monday the 17th, our Wednesday meeting got moved to afternoon, late enough that I’d miss the last flight out of both National and Dulles Wednesday evening and would have to fly home Thursday.

***

After a while, pretty much anything acclimates to normal. I expect the last minute travel, the meetings that change times and dates half a dozen times. I never plan on taking the flight home that I booked – I’m almost always catching something earlier or later. So while I was a bit frustrated by the time I got on the plane to D.C., it was mostly because I had very much wanted to come home Wednesday night.

It was when my paralegals emailed me a simple question Thursday afternoon, and I replied that I’d been through four cities and five time zones in the last 10 days and could they PLEASE JUST HANDLE IT WITHOUT ME, that the full force of how insane the prior two weeks had been came crashing down on me.

***

I fell into How Big, How Blue, How Beautiful on the plane ride home from D.C. Headphones on and the album on repeat, wondering how I’d waited so damn long to listen to it. Except that the music always finds me when I need it.  This one wouldn’t have resonated the way it does now if I’d listened to it when it came out two years ago. I’m still breathing it in, letting it play over and through me, waiting to get to the point where it’s inked into my memory.

***

Lately, I’ve been trying to make more time for connections.  Looking at where I am in the world and who’s nearby. Reaching out to one or two people in a city rather than doing the blast email trying to see everyone and failing thing. I’m happier for it, seeing and talking to the people I want to spend time with.

February is Letter Month, and I always mean to do it then never do. Too much time on planes, on hikes with Z, juggling bedtime and dishes and laundry and the jungle-that-is-our-yard. I miss it, though, miss the quiet silence of ink and paper, miss the tangled rush of thoughts into sentences. I miss the summer my best friend and I spent writing to each other, miss the long notes I used to write, the ones that rambled and meandered.

So. If you’d like a letter, let me know in the comments or by text or whatever.

Daysleeper

On By BekkiIn Musings & Ramblings2 Comments

I’m in Manila this week, somewhere between 3 and 15 hours out of sync. This part of the city is concrete jungle, Starbucks across from the hotel and McDonald’s down the block. On first glance, it could be any large American city: neon billboards for American brands, road signs and taxi markings in English.

The similarity stops at the surface. It is hot here, humid. Gulf coast humid. Like walking into a wet towel humid. Despite this, the sidewalks are clogged with pedestrian traffic, especially at shift change. Traffic on the streets is worse, a never ending tangle of beeping horns and weaving lane changes. It’s perpetually rush hour here. People ride three to a motorcycle or pack so tightly into Jeepneys that they hang off the back and cling to the roof. Women wear polo shirts or t-shirts – the only people I’ve seen in tank tops are tourists – and men and women alike use umbrellas to shade from the sun.

I’m here because Manila is one of the call center capitals of the world. It also happens to be in the time zone exactly opposite New York. The call centers run 24 hours, but their busiest shift is 9 pm to 5 am. The breakfast buffet at my hotel offers everything from bacon and eggs to salad to sliced meats and cheese to soup to chafing dish dinner entrees. I thought at first Philippine culture didn’t do breakfast; I realized later it was to accommodate the night shift.

I am 15 hours ahead of California, working New York hours. The call center is like any other office building: florescent lights, over eager air conditioning, constant hum of conversion in the background. It is a shock each time I pass a window – shades drawn – and see night sky though the crack between shade and glass. I am upside down, with no idea when I should be asleep or awake, half convinced that the top is still spinning.

This Music is the Glue of the World*

On By BekkiIn Pinned Posts, This is FeminismLeave a comment

It’s been a rough year on music. Every time I hear of another death I think that it has to be the last one for the year, that the universe or God or the FSM isn’t cruel enough to let it keep going on. And yet. A friend of my optimistically said that perhaps this leaves room for the talent of our generation to shine brighter.  Continue reading “This Music is the Glue of the World*” →