Tag: bicoastal

Monday Roundup

On By BekkiIn The Weekly ReviewLeave a comment

1. I spent Tuesday to Thursday on the East coast last week.  The funeral was very well done, and it was nice to be with my friends and colleagues as we said goodbye.  In some ways it helped to make it more real, but in others this is just the first step in getting back to some semblance of normal.

2.  Elite flyer status is awesome.  This trip was the first time I flew with any kind of status, and I have to admit it was pretty nice.  Free upgrades to economy plus (more legroom!  free booze!  all the things you used to get with a ticket!), early boarding, TSA pre-check.  Of course, it all goes away in January.

3. Apparently I have issues with birthday parties and open flame. The year Z was born, I lit my hair on fire trying to blow out the candles on my cake. This year, I put the Tupperware holding her birthday cupcakes on the stove to keep them out of the way… only to realize when flames started shooting up that the burner had been on. Luckily, in both instances A was around to put out the fire and otherwise save me from my own ineptitude.

4. At some point in your life, someone has probably told you to clean the hell out of a fridge before you unplug it. This is excellent advice and you should take it.

5. Je suis Paris. A and I got engaged here, at the end of a day that involved failing to go up the Eiffel tower and getting dead people rained on us in the Catacombs. I have to believe that love is still stronger than fear.

Closing Tabs

The controversy over crowd-funding continues. After seeing a Go Fund Me come across my feed this week – and donating – I think we all need to chill out about this. Nobody’s forcing you to fund your college roommate’s second cousin’s journey to the Falklands to find himself. Where somebody is in need, this is a great way for their village, which is often scattered across cities or counties or continents, to pitch in and help.

I’m really exited to try this homemade hot chocolate mix.  It looks super easy and quick to put together, and nothing says “there is no way I’m going out into the cold and wet today” like a steaming mug of hot cocoa.

Apparently, having two opposing football teams in red and green uniforms is a bad idea. Who’d have thunk?

The state of Massachusetts has been ordered to give Pastafarians – those who believe that the existence of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is just as probable as the existence of the Judeo-Christian god – the same rights as they give all other religions.  I seriously doubt this would fly south of the Mason-Dixon line.

In the wake of Paris, the Atlantic has an article about ISIS.  It is absolutely terrifying, both in scope of what it claims drives ISIS and in the seeming inability of our political leaders to grasp this.  Of course, nobody ever sold magazines by claiming that everything was peachy keen and our leaders were great, so I take the second point with a grain of salt.

Finally, the Times did a really excellent article illustrating why state by state gun control doesn’t work.  I’m not going to get political here – those of you who know me probably have a good idea what my personal view on this is – but I think this gets to the heart of why we need a federal government.  State by state regulation for things like legalizing marijuana and gay marriage can be a way for the country to sort out its views.  Eventually, you get enough states on one side of the question or the other that there’s a consensus view, at which point resistance is futile.  A product that is small and easily transportable, however, is a terrible candidate for this kind of “laboratory of democracy.”

That’s it from me.  What were the highlights of your week?

New Year’s Wish

On By BekkiIn Musings & Ramblings2 Comments
St. Pete Beach, June 2005
St. Pete Beach, June 2005

Ten years ago, I moved across the country to California. I had a newly minted degree in creative writing, less than $1000 in my bank account, and no reason to stay in Florida. Even so, I left a lot of things behind: an ocean that lit up at night along the edges of the waves; the restaurant where I learned how to wait tables and accept compliments; the woman who gave me my wings. I didn’t mind. I felt that I was moving toward something.

Between San Francisco and Monterey, May 2010
Between San Francisco and Monterey, May 2010

Five years ago, I moved across the country to New York. I had a newly minted JD, an offer at a big law firm, and a large pile of student loans. New York wasn’t my first choice, but it was a new job in a new city, and I’ve always been excited by new things. I left a lot behind: the farmer’s market with fresh, off -the-tree-that-morning peaches; the moody, untameable Pacific Ocean; family, and friends that were like family.  I minded this time.

This spring, we are moving again, back to California, back home.  I don’t have a job yet.  I should be terrified that I don’t have everything lined up, but I’m not.  I’m exhilarated.  For the past ten years, I’ve done what was expected of me.  College, law school, East Coast job, husband, house, child.  Check.  It hasn’t made me happy.

I’ve written here before about the impossibility of “having it all” and the need to decide instead to have it right.  For me, that means more time with my husband and my daughter.  It means letting go of what’s “expected” and doing what works.  It means time to write.  It means living somewhere that makes us happy, somewhere we have a support network of friends and family who love us.  It means going home.

And because it wouldn’t be New Year’s without a wish, here is my wish for you in the coming year:

Find the time for the people and the things that make you happy, and if you can’t find it, make it.  Do things for yourself, because you want to.  Ignore the people who tell you you’re doing it wrong.  Hug someone.  Smile at a baby.  And, as always, love and be kind to each other.

Baby o’Clock

On By BekkiIn Musings & RamblingsLeave a comment

We got back from California almost two weeks ago now. Every time we go, it feels more and more like going home. Something about the hills rising up out of the earth, crumpled and creased and golden. The highways, wide and flat and sinuous. The ocean, beating against the sand.

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Going away was good for us. For me. I feel like I’m finally starting to settle into life with the baby. Sure, everybody said that life would change, but I didn’t think it would be that different. Call me naïve, but I thought I would finally have time to get things done. As anyone reading this who has had a kid knows, that didn’t happen.

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The reality is that her favorite place to nap is on me, or her dad. That even though she can’t speak, she has plenty of ways of getting across what she wants. And what she wants is to be right where I am.

So I blog with my phone while she’s nursing. I read books with one hand while walking around holding her with the other.  But mostly, I accept that the to do list is limited to one item per day.

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And some days, I’m even okay with that.

Remniscent

On By BekkiIn Pinned PostsLeave a comment

It’s been awhile.  In part that’s because I’ve been working crazy hours and spending most of the time I’m not at work trying to finish the novel.  (A post on that to follow, some time next week.  I promise).  In part, it’s because I’ve been making some much needed decisions on where to go with this.

Those of you who’ve been with me since the MySpace days remember what it used to be like, when I blogged about the crazy people I worked with and the boys I met and everything else that happens once you go down the rabbit hole into Florida.  MySpace got old.  I moved onto blogger and into Waitress in Paradise, where I wrote about the crazy people I worked with and the boys who broke my heart and everything else that California promised but didn’t deliver.

Then I went to law school.  Where I quickly figured out that personality was viewed as a negative and indiscretions, no matter how minor, could keep you from being admitted to the bar and therefore render that $150,000 you’d paid in tuition worthless.  So I took down Waitress and started a silly blog about law school that I didn’t bother to update very frequently because, let’s face it, not much happens in law school worth blogging about.

The idea behind MfB was that as the husband and I went out and explored New York and found strange and wonderful places, I would write about them.  A year in, I’m not finding much to write about.  There was the Night Market last year, and a few hours spent in the bowels of the Gramercy Hotel last week (forthcoming post on that, too), but not much between them.  The truth is, most of New York is disappointingly mediocre.  The food, the restaurants, the shows.  I’ve yet to find much magic here, and certainly nothing worth writing about.  Add to that the audience factor, that it’s hard to know if people are reading this or liking it without any kind of comments, and the incentive to put up posts melts away.

Except that one of my favorite people told me, in passing, that he was glad I was blogging again back in October when I put a few posts up.

So.  Expect to see more here in the future.  I’m still not sure what form it’s going to take, but this I do know.  I’m tired of hiding.  I’m tired of the person law school forced me to be.  It’s time I earned those wings.

Autumnal

On By BekkiIn Musings & RamblingsLeave a comment

The city has been reluctant to let go of summer.  The subway tunnels are mid-July stifling, and the trains and busses are still running the AC.  Even the weather cooperated this past weekend, giving us one last chance at shorts and tank tops.  But the trees along my block are starting to shed their leaves, and the mercury has dropped back into the 50’s. The only saving grace is that the shorter days mean more afternoon sun spilling in through my office windows.

It doesn’t feel like I’ve been here a year.  I’ve barely gotten to know my own neighborhood, let alone the city.  And while I can blame some of that on the hours I work, and some of it on the immensity if the city itself, for the most part I’ve been lazy about exploring what’s out there.

I don’t want this to be my city, you see.  I don’t want to claim any sort of ownership over the cracked and bleeding streets, the masses that jostle and shove into subways and busses and office buildings.  When I come back from vacation I want it to be to a city that missed me, not one that flicks its cigarette butt in my direction and mutters “so you’re back again are you,” out of the corner of its mouth.

But it is here that we have landed, among the sirens and the helicopters and the occasional Mexican preacher, all blending together into the white noise that is the closest New York comes to silence.  It is almost home.