Baby o’Clock

We got back from California almost two weeks ago now. Every time we go, it feels more and more like going home. Something about the hills rising up out of the earth, crumpled and creased and golden. The highways, wide and flat and sinuous. The ocean, beating against the sand.

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Going away was good for us. For me. I feel like I’m finally starting to settle into life with the baby. Sure, everybody said that life would change, but I didn’t think it would be that different. Call me naïve, but I thought I would finally have time to get things done. As anyone reading this who has had a kid knows, that didn’t happen.

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The reality is that her favorite place to nap is on me, or her dad. That even though she can’t speak, she has plenty of ways of getting across what she wants. And what she wants is to be right where I am.

So I blog with my phone while she’s nursing. I read books with one hand while walking around holding her with the other.  But mostly, I accept that the to do list is limited to one item per day.

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And some days, I’m even okay with that.

“The New Year”

imageBack in New York, and a strange sort of not-quite jet-lagged.  We started in the Keys at 8:00 yesterday morning, spent the night somewhere in the Carolinas, and crossed the river onto the island at 4:30 this afternoon.  In some ways, I think it’s easier to get onto a plane and travel across a continent than it is to drive that same distance.  At least with the first, you can fool the body into thinking it’s only gone a short distance.
Florida was wonderful.  The last time I was there was in Jan 2007, in St. Pete at Writers in Paradise. It helps that all of Florida (at least, the part that’s not the panhandle) looks like all the rest of Florida.  Wide roads, low mission-style buildings, palm trees.  In fact, we even stayed in a bright pink hotel.  And even though we were on the other side of the state, and it was a good 30 degrees warmer, it felt like coming back home. Had drinks at South Beach and watched the tourists, went swimming at night after all the tourists left, came home covered in sand and sunscreen.

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Thinking about New Year’s, and resolutions, and slowly coming to the realization that I am exactly where I am supposed to be.  It’s frustrating in a way, because I’m almost thirty and I’m not nearly anywhere I wanted to be.  Instead, I’m slowly learning how to get to where I’d like to go.

My resolution this year is to get serious about my writing.  First, to finish Persephone and send her off into the world.  I’ve held onto her entirely too long.  Second, to start a new novel, and to do it right this time, plotting first and writing second.  Third, to try to write a short story a month, even if the first draft is no good, even if I have to sit down and pound out twenty pages of dross.  I’ve had a love-hate relationship with the short story for a long time, always hating how little space there was in which to create a world and admiring those writers who could do so successfully.  I’m realizing, though, how much room there is to play in a short story, how essential it is to learning the architecture of building worlds.

I’m giving myself (by which I mean that I am forcing myself to sit down and write for) an hour each day.  Not as much time as I would like, but I suspect there are going to be days where taking an hour seems all but impossible.  I’m going to try to do it, anyway.

The Resort That Time Forgot

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My husband’s parents gave us a week of their time share for a wedding gift, but by the time we’d settled on a week and a place, all the upscale resorts were booked.  Instead of the all inclusive, on-the-beach resort on Nassau, we ended up at a Tiki lounge in Grand Bahama.

I’m fairly certain that this was the place to be around 1987. Now, though, the tourists have fled the island.  There is no restaurant here, no bar, no snack shack.  Instead they drive us to the grocery store three times a week.

imageThere are only two other groups here:  a family of about eight doctors from Chicago, and two older ladies – one of whom has been coming here for about the last twenty years.

It’s the perfect setting for an Agatha Christie type novel.  One of the Chicagoans would be the victim – probably the older gentleman.  The lady who’s been coming here forever would be the amateur detective, of course, with her friend helping out.  My husband and I would complain that we weren’t allowed to leave the premises to go out to the nightclubs in Lucaya and be otherwise useless.

The murderer?  I’ll let you figure that out.  First one to guess gets a cookie.

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17 degrees is not a “high”

This is the thing about winter in the northeast: it’s cold. Not as cold as in the Midwest, where the winds build up over the lakes and the prairies and blow double digit negatives for more days than Noah sailed that ark. But still. Going out to the grocery store in 17 degree weather in the city becomes a task of monumental proportions, because I can’t just pop out to the garage and let the car warm up for ten minutes before I get in. Instead I find my hat and gloves (which tend to migrate to odd parts of the house, like the shelf in the bathroom where I keep my hairbrush) and hold my gloves in my teeth while I put on my hat. I take my coat and scarf from the hanger (gloves still in teeth, because if I put them down who knows where they’ll end up) and have to decide whether to put on the coat or the scarf first. This may sound like a simple decision. It is not. Complicating factors include what sort of sweater I am wearing and whether it has one of those big drape-y collars. I get into my coat, button it up, pull the hood of my scarf up over my hat, and wrap the ends around my face so that only my eyes are showing.

It is usually right about then that I realize I haven’t put my headphones in.

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